Breakup – I Want to Know Why
We’ve all been there! The breakup happened and then we come up with every possible reason for why it happened. Was I not attentive? Is there someone else? Did I gain too much weight? We need a reason for why the breakup happened either to give us hope that we can get our love back or to justify that it wasn’t our fault that the relationship failed.
Regardless of the cause of the breakup the truth is that even if you spend all of your waking moments for the rest of your life analyzing the situation, you are not going to get an answer. First, unless you and your ex still have a very open communication policy, everything you come up with is pure speculation. Second, even if your ex and you are still talking and seem like they are helping you figure it out, chances are they may feel that they need to protect you and you may only be getting half truths. There’s also the possibility your ex really isn’t clear on what they feel and the only way they can deal with that is to leave.
The reality is that the relationship has failed and you are only torturing yourself by playing over everything that happened in your head. At some point, you will analyze your analysis and get even more frustrated and depressed. Accept the fact that the relationship as you knew it has ended. Understand that no amount of dwelling on the past will bring back the past. The past has already happened and there is nothing you can do to change it.
I’m not saying all hope is lost. There’s still a good possibility that you could win him/her back. However unless you can accept facts as they are and let it go, you will be doomed to repeat all the things that went wrong in your previous relationship with this person.
Instead, if you truly want them back. Give them space to cool off and away from you. This way it gives them some time to miss you and shows that you respect their needs. In the meantime, brush yourself off and remember what it was that made you two fall in love in the first place. Many couples loose sight of the fact that there was something at the beginning that spark the love story. When couples breakup, most don’t remember the good times and only what infuriated them near the end.
Focus on the things that made you attractive to your ex. Show them that side of you that they fell in love with in the first place. It worked the first time didn’t it?
For more breakup advice check out my blog at http://how2getbacktogether.com
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